Gram's Memorial

We jump at any chance to head to Ontario where the majority of our family is from.

This trip was not for the most joyous of occasions but was still welcome.

There was some talk of my Gram's memorial service being held in the spring since the usual haste to prepare the remains was not an issue.

She donated her body to education and science at the university, just as my Grandad before her.

Yet another example of the commitment they felt to their life long careers.

In the end a closer date was chosen just in time to beat the Christmas rush.

Christmas had, of course, already rushed all over the place.

The service was held at a hotel since Gram would not have chosen a church for, well, anything.

The memorabilia revealed a full and accomplished life.

I even discovered that Gram was the valedictorian of her high school graduating class.

My cousin read her address which spoke of their responsibility, as the first post-war graduating class, to shape the country.

Fiona was especially taken with her University scribbler full of perfectly penned lessons on teaching kindergarten.

A far cry from my own chicken scratch pharmacy notes which would most certainly not look as nice on display.

One of many {I'm sure} cottage journals was also set out.

Gram was always encouraging us to write in it at each visit to Elizabeth Island.

What a treasure to have now.

So many family members spoke which highlighted the differences {and similarities} in the role Gram played in each of our lives.

Two of Gram's dear friends also wrote tributes.

The first was read by my Mom as the writer could not attend.

She knew her when they were both "freshies" at University and spent their first days sleeping on cots in a tea room while waiting for the girls dorm to be finished.

She told tales of sock hops, including the dance where my grandparents met.

The second also spoke of the distant past but what stuck with me were her more recent memories.

To hear her recollect the moment that she knew she "was losing her friend" was heart wrenching but her words were so beautiful and you felt her anguish in that moment.

The above photo depicts exactly how I remember my Gram.

Thoughtful, attentive, intelligent, proud and kind.

The photo below I took from our hotel room since it also evoked memories of Gram.

The shadows of the trees through the curtains felt like a view I had seen more than once from each of Gram's properties.

Though the memorial was what took us to Ontario, the highlight was the family.

I got fewer pictures than I had hoped so am only sharing the one of the newest addition.

Great to meet you Beau.

During the memorial, about halfway through the speakers, Fiona leaned towards me and said "Mommy, I don't know what I will say about GG."

My initial reaction was to say "Oh Fiona you don't have to say anything babe."

However, when my turn came to speak and she followed me up I thought again and kneeled down to ask if she would like to say something.

She replied no, not surprising given the large crowd, but stayed by my side while I spoke.

The next day my Dad was entertaining the kids while I visited with my aunts.

They went exploring and found the memorial room empty save for the seats and podium.

Fiona took that opportunity to stand up and say how she missed and loved her GG.

I didn't hear exactly what she said.

It doesn't matter what she said.

I was just so happy that she had a chance to say her own goodbye, on her own time.

We all miss you Gram.

This will be the first year I don't send a Christmas greeting your way.

At least not on paper.

Mary Margaret {Pearson} Horney

May 11, 1927 - Oct 30, 2014

Dear Gram,

I spent yesterday surrounded by children full of joy and life.

As they ran carelessly from door to door I could imagine you smiling and commenting how they were just "full of it".

It was Halloween, a day I can't recall ever spending with you.

But in a way it was a great day to remember your beautiful spirit.
My own kids love their GG and they are certainly not the first.

I saw you only once in your classroom of kindergarteners.
 I was Fiona's age and not yet in school but you let me participate with your kids.

I remember looking at you, my Gram the teacher, with even more awe.

You were one of the strongest, most confident and most intelligent women I knew.

And that was before I really knew you.
As a child you enriched my life in ways I couldn't understand and I often took that for granted.
You always wanted the best for us and you were anything but quiet about it.
As an adult I am so grateful to have had such a positive force in my life.

You were stylish.
I have few memories of you without a fabulous scarf, necklace, earrings or brooch.
But never too much, you were always accessorized to perfection.

You were sophisticated.
Literature, theatre, music, gardening, travel, you did it all.
We recently started visiting the public library again and the shelves of books make me think of you.
In my 20's I remember reading a book on your recommendation and being shocked at the racy content.
You never ceased to amaze me with your openness to experiences and change.
That Macbook that gave us so many face to face moments is just one of the many examples of how, even in your 80's, no skill was beyond you.
Not if it knew what was good for it.

I turned the radio to CBC2 to hear some classical music that you loved so.

The selection was gothic, meant to channel thoughts of the afterworld.

I laughed through the tears since I was sure that you would find some humour in the irony.

Thank you for those wonderful lazy days at the cottage, complete only when someone made a blueberry cobbler.
Thank you for those busy days in the city full of culture, falafel and lattes.

My african violet bloomed a couple of days ago and it prompted me to think of you.
Thank you for leaving us all with so many ways to remember your full and inspirational life.
Lots of love.

Happy Thanksgiving 2014

So thankful for a beautiful daughter who knows how to make me laugh {and cry} and reminds me constantly that the world is a fascinating place.

So thankful for a son who has managed to teach me more about love when I didn't think there was anything left to know, that trust goes both ways and the importance of growing through mistakes.

So thankful for friends who are without a doubt family.

So thankful for family who are without a doubt friends.

 And, who could forget, thankful for toddler-made-Grandma-initiated turkey crafts on our Thanksgiving tables.

Canada Day {Lake Style}

Happy Belated Canada Day!

We raced out of town as soon as I was done work on Monday to get our watermelon faces on.

 I was torn about leaving town since it meant missing the inaugural High Level "Light the Bridge".

Not that it compares at all but I did experience it via video and now if you missed it, so can you.

Yet another thing to love about this city.
The lake fireworks paled in comparison of course but it still set the festive tone.

One of the highlights of our celebration was a visit from cousin Avery, Auntie Brie, Grandma and Grandpa.

The kids are even more enamoured with her now that she's interacting.

At about 3 1/2 months she's at one of my favourite stages.

So much discovery and still such a baby.

As we relished in this new life in our family I remembered the one that was lost last year on July 1st.

I still think of you often Grandad but on Canada Day I am reminded of your commitment to your country, family and friends.

Thank you.

Boat season is in full swing and Fiona has found new confidence on the water.

She channels her Titanic and races to her spot at the bow as soon as her foot hits the deck.

She is also much more confident in the water and jumps carefully lowers herself into the water {just like-a Mama} readily.

These crazies cannon balled right in of course.

I fully expect Feefs to be doing the same by the end of the summer.

I also fully expect to be proven wrong and have her do something like rediscover her fear.

Because if there's one thing I've learned as a parent it's that I will always be proven wrong.

 They will seldom do what I'm sure they will and, you know, I'm becoming comfortable with that.

Keeps me on my toes right?

Last year Cedric would have jumped off the side of the boat at speeds upwards of 60 kph.

This year he seldom looks up, clutches at me when the boat picks up speed and wants nothing to do with swimming in the lake. 

If I'm being honest though, I'm happy to see his cautious side since it so rarely makes an appearance.

Someone's Four and a Tradition is Born

I've had a busy day preparing for tonight's festivities so haven't had a chance to do my usual nostalgic birthday post.

It's probably for the best since four years sounds way too old and I'd rather not dwell on the fact that Fiona is just that.

Four!

I'll share more about her party when I'm not the victim of a sugar crash combined with the swimming sleepies.

Today I wanted to quickly share what I hope becomes a new ritual for us.

Jeff was at the car show all last weekend so came home Sunday night craving some quality family time.

The evening just screamed "Movie Night" and that's exactly what we did.

This was no ordinary movie night though.

 We rearranged the living room and brought down a bunch of flat sheets to turn it into a tent.

 Daddy filled our 3-little-bear sized bowls with popcorn.

 The kids were in fort heaven.

We decided to start introducing the kids to family movies from our childhood.

There's something so right {and sometimes so wrong, I'll admit} about 80's movies.

First up was this classic.

Afterwards I told Fiona that when E.T. was made I was her age.

 {I was actually Cedric's age I realize now.}

She stared at me blankly for a few seconds then between bursts of laughter said "no way Mommy" and gave me a look that had "silly Mama" written all over it.

Thanks kid, you're sure making it tough to convince myself I'm still young.

Melissa's 2013

Another fabulous run in the mountains this year.

We added a few to our group, including Jeff! 

{Were you all aware that hell froze over?}

Well, frozen we were since the temperature had dropped significantly compared to last year.

I had a Mama guilt moment as I watched children in snowsuits walk by my two dressed as shown below.

They're hearty though and, thanks to Gram and our friend Steve, took a trip to McDonald's to warm up during the run.

After cheering us on a little first and snapping this shot, that is.

{Thanks for the photos Mom.}

 There really isn't a better road race than Melissa's.

You start the run down the main street of the gorgeous mountain town of Banff.

 And what would a mountain run be without a mountain right?

We certainly got one, from about kilometers 2 to 4.5 actually.

The consolation being that after this you get a whole lot of downhill.

I was so glad to run with my Dad this year and hope to make it a tradition.

Has the pain of the mountain worn off enough to commit Dad?

 I was ecstatic with my time as I beat my personal goal by a whole minute.

As proud as I was of myself, it paled in comparison to my pride in this guy.

The husband ran 10 kilometres and lived to tell about it.

What seemed like an impossibility just a couple months ago was accomplished.

His stubbornness determination floored me but I really shouldn't be surprised.

Jeff can do anything he sets his mind to.

He has completely transformed himself physically in the last 7 months.

In doing so he has also vastly improved the life of our family.

His energy, capabilities and confidence have skyrocketed.

I think the main difference is that, though we've always known how great he is, he's actually starting to believe it.

Final Ontario Post {For Real}

After the service the rest of our trip was spent visiting.

And by the rest of our trip I mean Saturday.

We fit this trip between my work shifts.

As a former manager and business owner I am aware that asking for time off as soon as you start is a great way to make a not-so-great impression on your boss.

So we squeezed it.

First stop, terrorize check out Gram's new digs.

There isn't much in the way of entertainment at care centres, at least not the variety little ones crave.

{Backgammon anyone?}

Being the resourceful kids who they are though, they made their own fun.

The fish tank and model lighthouse provided entertainment for the first 15 minutes.

Cedric lodged himself behind a door that locks open.

 Then gave us the mother-of-all-stinker-looks when he realized he was the only one who could fit.

We did eventually get them to pose for some pics and sit with their GG.

Sitting quietly, however, is not their favourite.

Fiona took a shining to a ball of pink yarn and started a game of catch.

Catch then escalated to whip-at-yo-head and was shut down for safety reasons.

Thankfully GG got a kick out of it at every level of intensity.

Our next destination was Aunt Julie's.

There were two little chairs just for them and some perfectly selected toys.

 She has a great shady backyard which the kids terrorized loved.

 I mean, did you see that look?

I can only imagine the pranks in store for us at the hands of this little man.

We managed a little nap before a dinner and park date with my Aunt Elizabeth, Aunt Cathy and cousin Sarah.

At dinner Jeff and Sarah bonded over their mutual desire to be organic farmers.

{Remind me to tell you someday about Jeff's retirement plans for us.}

The night was really chill at the park.

It was my turn to have a rare chat with Sarah.

I've mentioned before that I grew up away from my extended family.

I never attended the large Christmas dinners or birthday celebrations.

Now I'm not complaining.

 My parents made our celebrations so special and I wouldn't change a thing.

I am, however, glad that Fiona and Cedric will have grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins close by.

I felt especially grateful for this when a great conversation with my cousin was cut short.

Now we're on opposite ends of the country and most likely won't pick it up again.

Sure it seems like everyone's so connected across the world.

I might be able to find her on Twitter, Instagram, Vine, Pinterest or Facebook {though she went off years ago}.

I also may be able to contact her via email, text, iMessage, Facetime or Skype.

But even with all these available forms of communication there's nothing like sitting side by side on a grassy hill at dusk.

Final Ontario Post {Finally}

**Just kidding, this is actually part one of two.  I really planned to fit it all in then I started looking at photos from the root of our visit and just couldn't.**

I've been going to Toronto to visit family all my life.
It's because of this that I often forget to do some sightseeing.
I remember as a child going to the CN tower, Bluejays' games {in their unbeatable days}, Canada's Wonderland and the Toronto Zoo.
Now, as an adult, I would much rather spend the time with our family.
I am looking forward to someday introducing our kids to these attractions.
This, however, was not that trip.

We arrived to some typical Toronto weather.
 Hot and humid.
Memories of sitting perfectly still in my Grandma West's apartment whilst aiming 3 fans in my direction came flooding back.
The memories kept coming as we drove through my Gram and Grandad's old neighbourhood and up to their church.

We walked in to a warm reception by extended family and old friends.

Many sought us out to see the "great-grands" since our kids are the only ones to date.

The church was beautiful and a simple picture of Grandad sat at the front.

Nothing more was needed since his memory, though already strong in all of us, was brought to life by the many respects paid.

Gram said afterwards that she thought it was the most beautiful service she had been to.

I agreed.

The readings and eulogies by my family members blew me away.

With each one I felt like Grandad, as I remember him, was brought back to me.

We had spent so many years seeing parts of this phenomenal man robbed.

Then in this one gathering they all came back.

I contributed by reading my post from July 2nd.

I was so glad that I wrote it when I did since it proved to be the purest form of what I felt after his passing.

My truly amazing cousin Sarah sang "Lark" unaccompanied.

She filled the room with her voice and kept the beat with a hand over her heart.

I was truly beautiful.

{Here's Josh Ritter singing it, skip to 25 seconds if you don't want to hear the banter.}

My Mom and Aunts put together an impressive table of memorabilia.

{And you know how I love my memorabilia.}

How did the kids do you ask?

They did great...for 10 minutes.

They spent the rest of the service chasing Daddy in the lobby.

Honestly, I'm glad that they are still naive to the idea of losing a loved one.

Fiona has started to show an interest in death but doesn't yet understand what it means.

I will often  hear stories in which "someone tried to died me Mommy".

She did once tear up when we explained that you don't come back after you die.

That conversation ended shortly thereafter and I certainly won't prompt it's rehashing.

I don't think I'm one to shelter my kids but some harsh truths can wait.

Grandad had a very calculating mind and I'm certain that facts were important to him.

Above all though he enjoyed his time with the people, and especially the children, in his life.

One of his last pieces of advice to my Mom was to "enjoy those kids".

There's plenty of time before they need to face sorrow head on.

For now I'm enjoying them and their innocence.

Ontario Post #1 {aka: Why I Haven't Blogged For Over a Week}

Thank goodness for travel points.

Our last 5 trips to Ontario have been made possible by these wonderful rewards.

Every time we're there we can't wait to accumulate enough points to go back.

It's not the landscape, the history or the bustling cities that draw us.

{Though we love all of the above.}

It's our heart.

As in our family's collective heart.

A part of it lives there with our grandparents, aunts, uncles, great-aunts, great-uncles and cousins {of all varieties}.

The first stop on this particular trip was a city that's quickly becoming one of my favourites.

Our nation's capital, Ottawa.

We had one and a half short days but were able to get in some great visits.

He surprised us with a little ukelele demo.

So amazing that he plays right?

You want to know something more amazing? 

He doesn't.

Nope he's just picking it up now, at 95 {give or take a couple years}.

Cedric was impressed but not as impressed as he was with the bed.

I could almost hear his thoughts.

"Papa, where'd you get this sweet bed?  Mom, Mom did you see this thing?  It moves, no seriously you just push this button and the top raises.  This thing is genius.   Why didn't I think of this?  Is it a toy? Is it a bed? Nobody knows.  Dad, we gotta get one of these.  Can we please? Pleeeeeease?"

{Or something like that.}

After prying him away we picked up some groceries, to keep costs low, at the cutest grocery chain ever.

Then I sold the chicken and salads to the kids as a hotel picnic which was a huge success.

{Don't you just love the patterns on cheap hotel blankets?}

On day 2 we busted Papa out and went for lunch.

On the menu: some good male-bonding time.

It was a rainy Ottawa day so we settled for a driving tour with Papa as our guide.

In preparation for our flight we needed to expel some kiddo energy.

Our first choice of swimming was quashed since we just missed the public swim hours.

The park just outside did the trick though.

Next up, travelling...

Charles Roy Horney

March 19,1923 - July 1st, 2013

Dear Grandad,

We had a really beautiful long weekend with the kids.

On Canada Day we received the news that you are at peace.

It wasn't a surprise.
You said you were ready and it was what you wanted so I feel glad for that.

I just want you to know that I felt your presence and influence profoundly on that weekend.

I always do though.
You have helped mold me into the person I am.

You gave me a desire to speak French and excel at math.

You are the reason I can't look at a group of numbers without making them into an equation.

You are the reason I love porridge and blueberry pancakes.

You play a large part in my love for cottage life which is one reason that I had you with me this weekend.

And do every time I'm at the lake.

You were the master of reuse, repair or recycle.

I can still see those old computer cards you saved and used for lists. 

I have a vivid picture in my mind of you hunched over a broken radio. 

You could fix anything.

You inspired me to be strong and healthy.

Physically of course, you were inspirational.

Always so able, getting right down and showing the grandkids up with your somersaults.

Even as you were battling a major physical disease you stood tall.

I'm certain that those who didn't know the details of your medical history wouldn't believe them.

Mentally though, you were downright impressive.

You had an amazing mind and a kind heart.

You never complained even when you had every right to.

I'm so thankful that you held my children, that they met you, and you them.

I know they may not remember but it meant so much to me to watch you sing to them.

As my Dad said, we will forever celebrate your life with fireworks.

Love always.